What Makes a Dream a Nightmare…

With PTSD, one of the many ways intrusive thoughts interfere with everyday life is through nightmares. Every PTSD questionnaire I’ve answered has asked if I have nightmares. Until VERY recently, I assumed nightmares had to be excessively scary. When my daughter dreamt that a bear was chasing her and she woke up begging me toContinue reading “What Makes a Dream a Nightmare…”

Rainbows, Unicorns, and Motherhood #7: It Puts the Stuff in the Basket

Messes. I frikkin hate messes. They make my anxiety go haywire and also cause some flashbacks to some negative memories. I am not the neatest person in the world (much better than I was in my dorm days 😬 ) but I tend to keep a decent house. Enter kids. And husband. And now dog.Continue reading “Rainbows, Unicorns, and Motherhood #7: It Puts the Stuff in the Basket”

Rainbows, Unicorns, and Motherhood #6: Selfcare(ish)

I’ve been stressed. PTSD, anxiety, kids, anxiety, Marine Corps, anxiety, medical board (taking months longer than it is supposed to), anxiety, home buying, anxiety, marriage, anxiety, housekeeping, anxiety, and a sprinkling of…dare I say depression? Not really sure what that is but it’s bugging me. Today was a “take-a-bath-with-your-kid-while-watching-Scooby-Doo” and “pour Ovaltine on your spoonfulContinue reading “Rainbows, Unicorns, and Motherhood #6: Selfcare(ish)”

Onward to Therapy! Again!

I finished up my regular therapy sessions in early June. CPT is rough for anyone, but add to it that my therapist and I didn’t really jive, and you can guess that it was a very long and painful six months, with sessions ranging from once every two weeks to twice a week. Since thenContinue reading “Onward to Therapy! Again!”

Well, You Failed Therapy

I finished up my Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) appointments this week. I talked a little about it in Milkshakes and Meditation…it was hit-or-miss on days that felt helpful or not, and days that felt rough or not. In the end I was told I “showed some improvements but the results weren’t what they wanted.” IContinue reading “Well, You Failed Therapy”

From Hero to Zero

I’m a Marine. I decided I wanted to be a Marine when I was 12 years old, and I worked unbelievably hard to make it to where I am (more on that in a later post). I put the Marine Corps ahead of pretty much everything else in my life for well over a decade.Continue reading “From Hero to Zero”

My First Boob Squish

I had my first boob squish today…you might know that as a mammogram. I recently stopped nursing Graycie and noticed some lumps shortly after. They didn’t change for a bit, so figured I should get checked out. Everything is good—no abnormalities on the boob squish or the follow-up ultrasound. It was an interesting experience though.Continue reading “My First Boob Squish”

Medical, Medical Everywhere!

I’ve had a lot of fun with medical stuff the last few years. It just keeps going too. Doesn’t help either that I have some legit anxiety that leads to a bit of hypochondria, so there is definitely a mix of physical symptoms mixed with psychosomatic symptom…it’s a fun combination 😂 I’m writing this forContinue reading “Medical, Medical Everywhere!”

Just be a Tool, it’s OK (sometimes)

I’ve been very conscious recently to not use “but” as much when referring to my kids. I think everyone does it… “I love my kids…but…XYZ” Instead, I say “and.” “I love my kids AND they can be tools.” True statement, but no need for a “but.” They happen simultaneously, the love and toolishness. It happens.Continue reading “Just be a Tool, it’s OK (sometimes)”

Slap Party for All!

You ever just want to slap someone? I know I’m not a the only person who feels that way more often than not. As a Marine, I can tell you that we are actually not a service full of crayon-eating-body-building-dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks meat heads…but there are definitely a few. And they tend to work in billets thatContinue reading “Slap Party for All!”