Cracked

*Trigger Warning* I have to write. I spent multiple evenings this week trying to help a small group talk someone down from ending their life. I’ve been through this on multiple scales before—in a way with my dad, where it ended more negatively than I imagined it would and I didn’t fully realize that dyingContinue reading “Cracked”

Reuniting

What must you feelTo take yourself awayFrom the world you are inDo you feel too muchOr nothing at allMaybe you are already goneEven when we still see youSo your leaving is just reunitingYour body with your soulYou leave us to find ourselvesGroping for answersFor strengthFor youIf we are lucky We can keep ourselfShattered but inContinue reading “Reuniting”

What Makes a Dream a Nightmare…

With PTSD, one of the many ways intrusive thoughts interfere with everyday life is through nightmares. Every PTSD questionnaire I’ve answered has asked if I have nightmares. Until VERY recently, I assumed nightmares had to be excessively scary. When my daughter dreamt that a bear was chasing her and she woke up begging me toContinue reading “What Makes a Dream a Nightmare…”

Therapy Again…

Just finished up my intake at the Syracuse VA so I can start working through trauma in the PTSD Clinic. Some days I just want the shit in my head to go away. It’s so weird thinking that I’ve been stuck in a similar mental state for 13 years. There’s a chance I’ll be 75Continue reading “Therapy Again…”

Trials and Tribulations: month vs Month

This year marks 13 years since losing my dad and two sisters in a murder/suicide. It took me until last year to finally ask for help dealing with the incident. It’s never too late to start addressing issues and taking care of yourself…you deserve to feel safe, healthy, and joyful no matter what you’ve beenContinue reading “Trials and Tribulations: month vs Month”