I am on the struggle bus this week. Stuck in the “it could have been me so what am I doing with this chance at life” stuff.
Not exactly sure if that constitutes survivors guilt or something else. Something different. Maybe not as painful as “it should have been me” but still meaningful and difficult to navigate.
I’ve had a handful of close calls—or close to close calls—but I’d say that would have been the closest and I didn’t even know it. Weird thought. How many others are in the same boat? How many others are in the same boat and don’t know about it?
No wonder trust is an issue.
I swear my life is just stuck in an endless cycle of grief stages. And once I feel semi-comfortable with one aspect, I circle back around to fall into the pit of another.
Love others. Love life. Love coffee.
#coffeewithasideofcowbell #coffeeandcowbell #suicideawareness #mentalhealth #trauma